The moon

ভীষন চেনা এই বিছানাতে,
রাত জাগি আমি তোমার প্রতীক্ষায়
কখন যে উণকি দিয়ে য়াও আমার খোলা জ়ানলায়
আলতো ছুয়ে য়াও আমায়

ভাবি আর ভাববো না তোমার কথা
তোমার আসার এক চিলতে পথ বন্ধ করে দিই
বিশ্বাসঘাতক বহুগামী প্রেমিক আমার ;
আর তোমাকে আসতে হবে না কোনোদিন-ও।।

সব জানলাতেই ঘুরে বেড়াও তুমি??
সবাই কি আমার থেকেও ভালো নঐবেদ্য সাজায় তোমার জন্য??
ভাবি আর অরঘ্য দেবো না তোমায়!!

তবু ঠিক প্রতি রাতেই
খোলা জানলা পথে তোমার দিকে চোখ চলে য়ায়
আর তাকিয়ে থাকতে থাকতে
কখন যেন ঘুম পাড়িয়ে দিয়ে চলে য়াও
অন্য কোনো জানলায়
ঠিক য়েমন করে আমার সনসারী মনকে ঘুম পাড়িয়ে
আমি তোমার কাছে য়াই!!!!

Wishes.....

I wish I could wipe out my past
I could erase in such an obvious way,
No trace ever of my heart smashed to dust
As if I was never sad, always gay!!

I wish there was no Love in my life,
No pain gained throughout the journey,
Wish I could cut d past just with a knife,
As if my life was never cloudy but sunny!!

I wish no rainy evening of naughty secrets,
I wish no parting kiss in the airport,
I wish I never felt those unusual tastes,
I wish no tears chocked orever in my throat!!

Still they are true if even I never wished,
Wishes were never so strong, I was never that blissed..

So I live with the past like a bitter scar
And yeah, I am strong enough to face every thing
I can live my life without asking for a favor
I'm brave enough to hear the bell ringing!!!

An acoount of my life..

Life 10 years ago
Today's grown-up Asmita was a teenager of 13. The girl was much simpler and happy with her the then friends and her life was much easier at that time. Going to school everyday, going to Drawing school and Recitation club every sunday, playing badminton during some winter days(No not throughout the winter, but some 10-15 days managed from her busy schedule!!) and mostly drowning herself in a pile of story books. Sleeping was her first job after returning from the school and the evenings were meant for studies (She was not a very good student but somehow she used to get bothered by the praises and rebukes of teachers in school, so she had to do regular homeworks and all just to be in the good book of teachers!) but the lonely nights were her own. I was in eighth standard then and I got my bedroom separated from my parents in class 7. So I used to enjoy reading till late night. I was mostly engrossed with BankimChandra and bit of Rabindranath. I started believing in love and tried to understand the meaning of Romance. My own stupid fairy world was created and eventually i realised i am too self-centred. Loving someone deeply may not be my business. I cried a lot after reading Jogajog or Char Adhyay but nobody was there to offer me a handkerchief then. I got my first camera, a kodak-kb10 in 97 puja. I was so happy with all these. Life was not like a box of chocolates but like a dairy milk. Always sweet always creamy always same..

Yes, 10 years ago life was simpler when I was enjoying the early days of my womanhood. And of course the life was a bit better without much worry and without much larger grief.


Life 5 years ago
I was an adult then, yes i was 18+. I was in college and i was in hostel then. My life is changed a lot in these few years. From the low spirit,less speaking girl i metamorphosized myself to a happy-go-lucky , jolly and messy college-girl. Still i was not worried not much at least not in the way i am worried today aout future. Somehow for the first time in my life i started believing that I can fly also.. In these 5 valuable years my taste for books and music have been changed a lot. I no more practice to draw a figure correctly, no more i try to express myself through the workds written by others. Yes both my drawing class and recitation club were gone. The difference is that I was not much sorry to leave the drawing class but was a bit more sorry to loose the skill of recitation. I attended my first college fest REBECA- 2004 with much enthusiasim, I spent half of the night watching different programs and rest of the night dancing in the floor. First night spent under the open sky. I understood different dimensions of friendship from that time onwards. I started listening Fossils, started listening Pink Floyd and I started reading Sharadindu Bandopadhyay,started reading Sunil Ganguly,Samaresh majumdar, sirshendu mukhopadhyay and a lot more different contemporary bengali novels. Still life was so different!!
5 years ago I was feeling grea8!!!

Life 1 year ago
I was confused and aimless of course not shameless too much. I said GoodBye to my employer (I was working for one of the greatest Indian software company..) and joined university again for further studies. I was neither happy nor sad to take the decision, rather i would say i was comfortably numb at that time and that numbeness is continued till today. I left Blore as well. Blore - the city which taught me how to live by my own, taught me how to manage office work, taught me how to earn. Yes I learnt also.. I learnt how it feels being homeless, i learnt how to be diplomatic, i learnt how to tackle odds when you are alone and of course i learnt how to stand up again after being ruined. Thanking all of them, i boarded the flight SG-521 and came back home..

Life tomorrow
Don' have a the slightest idea what to do next. May be i will go for a job again, may be i will go for further studies. But surely my reading habit will change. I will try to play guitar more swiftly and i will re discover myself throughout the beautiful journey called life..

I tag Suman and Tina to write on the same topic.. Have the challenge and write it down whenever u have time.. get ready !!